So there's this little thing called Drabble that will generate "fan-fic" like short stories off of words you input (blindly) much like mad-libs. I have been doing drabble with several dirge couples and I have found the results hilarious, and had to share some of the best with you guys. XD USE THIS THREAD TO POST DRABBLES OF YOUR FAVORITE CANNON/NON-CANNON/CRACK PAIRINGS.
Here's some of my favorites so far.
The Corgi Prince
Merinski was walking through a tall meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a twitchy little Corgi lying under a tree.
Merinski skipped over to see the dear thing and was black to find that he was hurt! A man-skirt had pierced his pink little teeth and he whimpered gleefully with the pain.
"My bloody little friend," Merinski said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the man-skirt, as quickly as he could. The Corgi cried out and Merinski's heart ached, intense like a double rainbow across the sky.. "You'll be all right," Merinski whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Fin and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Fin up in his arms, Merinski carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Merinski nursed Fin, cleaning his teeth and feeding him Boots-brand Corgi chow.
On the eighth night, Fin climbed into bed with Merinski. He burrowed under the covers and angrily bit Merinski's neck. It made Merinski giggle and he cuddled close to Fin, stroking his hand and singing painfully to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Merinski hurried home so he could curl up with Fin. It gave him a goth feeling whenever Fin bit his neck.
Then one night, Fin looked up at Merinski and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a painful prince."
Merinski screamed quietly, he was so surprised. How could a Corgi talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Fin said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Merinski said and kissed Fin on his hand. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a painful prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Fin," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Merinski said.
"See?" Fin said and showed Merinski the scar from the man-skirt on his teeth. Then he kissed Merinski and they tumbled in the sewers and did a lot of very wild things, some of them involving a pointy blood.
"I love you," Fin said when they were done. Merinski clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Fin had stashed away.
And if Fin didn't know about Merinski's visits to the Corgi sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
1000 Blood Corgis
Merinski paced angrily back and forth. Pink dread filled his heart. Fin should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my wild love, Merinski thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Fin had been taken hostage by Black Teeth, a supervillain who had the city in a state of painful terror. Merinski fainted dead away, intense like a double rainbow across the sky..
When he came to, there was a bump on his neck and the pink dread had returned. "Fin, my tall honey bunny," he cried out painfully. "What is Black Teeth doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing quietly as he bit him in the hand.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Merinski remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 blood Corgis, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Merinski ordered in a supply of blood and set to work, folding Corgis until his neck was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last Corgi when Fin walked in the front door.
"Fin!" Merinski screamed and threw himself into Fin's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 blood Corgis and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in the sewers. He kissed Fin gleefully on the hand.
"Actually," Fin said, pulling away quickly, "I was rescued by the Twitchy Boots. He's a new superhero in town." Fin sighed. "And he's really goth."
The pink dread came back. "But you're pointy to be back here with me, right?"
Fin checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Twitchy Boots for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay bloody, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Merinski choked back a sob and started folding another Corgi. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
I MAINTAIN THAT TWITCHY BOOTS IS MER'S GOTHY SUPERHERO PERSONA SO THIS IS OKAY
To Derpily Kiss
Strapper and Roric were celebrating a cute Valentine's Day together. Roric had cooked an unintelligable dinner and they ate on a roof by candlelight.
"My darling," Strapper said, stroking Roric's eye, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Roric. "It is but a perfect token of my mute love."
Roric opened the box. Inside was a happy corgi! He gazed at it delightfully. Then he gazed at Strapper delightfully. "It's dumb," Roric said. "Come here and let me kiss you."
Just then, a broken crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a double rainbow cross the sky.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a short voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Roric read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other hungrily as the crone cackled some more. Strapper's neck began to tremble. Then Roric shrugged, pulled out an accent, and hit the crone on her mouth. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Strapper said and kissed Roric immaturely. "This is a snarky Valentine's Day!"
They quickly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they kissed each other all night long.
The Miracle Of The Cat
Bridhe hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it
like a double rainbow cross the sky. He loathed it.
Every December, Bridhe would feel himself getting all vicious inside. He
refused to put up a Christmas dick, he snapped at anyone snarky enough
to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any
presents.
On December 13, Bridhe had to go to the mall to buy a broken shirt. When
he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing jokingly around and
so much Christmas music blaring quickly, he thought his butt would
explode.
Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a horny man collecting
for charity. Bridhe never gave to charity, so he started to walk past
without a word.
Suddenly, the horny man dropped his bells and ran between some sheets.
There was a ginger cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the
horny man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!
Bridhe rushed out and hungrily pushed them both out of the way. There
was a irish bang and then everything went dark.
When Bridhe woke up, he was in a short room. There was a Christmas dick
in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Bridhe's lip hurt. A
lot.
The horny man came into the room. "I'm so freckled!" he said. "You're
awake. My name is Theo. You saved me from the truck. But your lip is
broken."
Bridhe hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas dick
up and his lip was broken, he felt quite derpy, especially when he
looked at Theo.
"Your lip must hurt delightfully," Theo said. "I think this will help."
And he joked Bridhe several times.
Now Bridhe felt very derpy indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now.
In fact, he loved it. And he loved Theo. "I love you," he said, and
kissed Theo immaturely.
"I love you too," said Theo. Just then, the cat ran into the room and
nuzzled Bridhe's hair. "I brought him home with us," Theo said.
"We'll call him Miracle," Bridhe said. "Our Christmas Miracle."
It was the best Christmas ever.
To Quickly Joke
Bridhe and Theo were celebrating a derpy Valentine's Day together.
Bridhe had cooked a horny dinner and they ate between some sheets by
candlelight.
"My darling," Theo said, stroking Bridhe's lip, "I have something for
you." He gave a box to Bridhe. "It is but a vicious token of my broken
love."
Bridhe opened the box. Inside was an irish shirt! He gazed at it
delightfully. Then he gazed at Theo delightfully. "It's ginger," Bridhe
said. "Come here and let me joke you."
Just then, a snarky crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a double
rainbow cross the sky. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a
freckled voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Theo read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're
my brother."
They stared at each other hungrily as the crone cackled some more.
Bridhe's butt began to tremble. Then Theo shrugged, pulled out a ginger,
and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Bridhe said and kissed Theo immaturely. "This is a
short Valentine's Day!"
They jokingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another
soul.
And then they joked each other all night long.
Subject: Dirge of the DRABBLE 
Thu Aug 05, 2010 12:25 pm
